precious girl i

apologies ending in curses, memories fixed with matches / photographs mean nothing, & you mean less / my tears become an acid that drip on your grin / exchanged best intentions for regret / emotionless, why whisper a thing / redemption never offered its chest for my head / & it was too rough to you to rest your own on it

friend, how is your heaven? better than our hell? / forgive me, i forgot i forfeited any right to that title / apologize for my behavior, & for being as fickle / made you second, but am overjoyed it’s forgivable / you’d never let me right it, regardless of my will / by my account, you guarantee it won’t end well / overdue, but spoken too soon, well, again, farewell

photographs on your closet floor are all that’s left / the better things we had were intertwined with hell’s best / a year held little except pride, jealousy & bitterness / most conversations became an argument neither wanted / i can’t win with you, still trying, though i should forfeit / you’ve quit, & i guess it’s already late to bite my lip / my side wasn’t worth wounding you, though i persist

i treated you like dirt, instead of the precious girl you are / the absence of your brown eyes eased the guilt of my harm / i wish i could calm myself, but i’ve gone too far  / you were once the hand in my dark / unless they’re those of a friend, you won’t accept my arms / sixteen days, but the next or any after won’t heal the scars / we could have returned to the start

laugh at myself, how did i let that story repeat itself / i’d sworn there was no one i’d again tempt whispering it with / one of my better efforts was a few sketches / well, they just made you feel like the next / smile, for though i had our best in my head / you say it’s only as noble as how it ended / i dug our grave without even knowing i’d shoveled

i didn’t disagree recycling issues had become old / you made sure i knew i was nothing as you let go / i may have returned it all ten-fold, but that one was your own / it’s hard for you to remember anything but my heart of stone / well, i’m glad your staying sketch of me is a boy so cold / i’ll darken the lines with ink for you as i leave you alone / let me hear you say again i was a drain on your soul

i’ll grin if we can’t begin again, even if sarcasm is unbecoming of me / well-aware i let my own wounds make you bleed / often let my pride carry it’s head above your well-being / but did you care to notice when i dirtied it’s neck beneath your feet / my heart let it’s jealousy harm your own, but at least it didn’t leave / well-aware i lied, but you believed / or at least carried on without too much misery

your stubbornness was half on my side / but it’s not in my favor when you’ve shut me out from your life / i’d look even more the fool if i thought you’d ever change your mind / whose pride is still intact enough to not hide it’s eyes / you stand with the best on your own right / i swear i never want your heart in pieces inside / a precious girl you are, well, precious girl, goodbye